


Five Days

by Zoelily



Series: Cockles Moments [5]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cockles, M/M, Post-Election
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 11:37:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8531593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoelily/pseuds/Zoelily
Summary: Monday: FearTuesday: DisgustWednesday: SadnessThursday: AngerFriday: Determination





	

**Author's Note:**

> We've all had some processing to do since November 8 and sometimes writing can be a coping mechanism and a way to see things more clearly. Watching Misha put so much of himself into the election has been heartbreaking to see and this is what came out of it for me. 
> 
> The actual idea for this little ficlet was inspired by a tweet a non-fandom friend posted today that I thought really summed up how I thought Misha must've been feeling this past five days.
> 
> *Please note that even though I'm Canadian, obviously I am, like Misha, very anti-Trump. Although this story is inspired by the events of the election, it is still a work of fiction and any comments on anything besides the story itself will be deleted without debate. I'm not here to discuss political views.
> 
> Also, the following is unbeta'd. If you notice any glaring errors, please feel free to point them out. :)

Monday – Fear

Thinking back to Monday, Jensen feels petty and more than a little guilty for his inner jealousy as he watched the livestreams of Misha and Darius making their way across Ohio. It’s not that he isn’t proud of Misha. Sometimes he’s overcome with the pride he feels watching the man he adores fight for what he believes in, so publicly, so intensely. It’s not even that he dislikes Darius. Misha’s childhood friend is such a carbon copy of Misha, it’s impossible not to appreciate his dry humour and quirky intelligence. Jensen knows anything experimental between Misha and Darius died with their middle school dreams of tacos for lunch and bonus paper route tips. But, on Monday, that last video of a sleepy Misha laying his head on Darius’ shoulder, a reflex action that Jensen is intimately familiar with, had woken the grumpy green monster in his belly. Jensen isn’t proud of it; in fact, he’s ashamed of his own reaction, especially now that he watches the video again in the aftermath. Now, he can clearly see the fear in Misha’s eyes. Yes, there’s also determination, and intensity, and appreciation, and humbleness, yet there is also that fear that what if this isn’t enough?

They’d all talked at work about the upcoming election. They were all on the same page for many of the same reasons; but, no one was in as deep as Misha. Jensen knew it then and he knows it now. He feels like an ass for acting like a jealous prick instead of being in tune with the fear in his friend’s mind. He should’ve been better. He looks up from his iPhone to where Misha is working on his coverage with the crew on the far end of the set. He will be better. Misha deserves that. So does he. So does the world.

 

Tuesday – Disgust

They’ve taken the evening off; the powers that be knowing that no one would be concentrating on lines and marks with election results rolling in. It had been hard enough throughout the day to stay away from predictions and opinion polls, Jensen’s phone a dead weight reminder in his pocket that America was at a precipice that was difficult to ignore.

Right now Misha is at home with Vicki and the kids and Jensen is with Jared in his trailer, home too far away for just one night. The polling stations are closing state by state, and the map on the big screen tv, with its mostly red and not enough blue blocks, is a constantly evolving yet horrifying nightmare. It’s too much like watching a deadly train wreck in slow motion.

There are two simultaneous Skype chats open – Danneel and Gen on one laptop, curled up together on the couch at Jared’s place, evidence of future generations in their swollen bellies, and the other a picture of Misha’s living room with Vicki on the floor, her back against the couch and Misha pacing with a twisted look on his face that Jensen isn’t sure if he even recognises. Jensen tries to place it. He’s seen Misha both sad and angry, and although there’s a measure of both there, neither is quite fitting. When Misha turns to face him and their eyes lock, the only word that comes to him is disgust. Disgust at the man who is turning his beloved country into a freak show. Disgust at the blind half of that same country that seems to think the sun shines out of his racist, misogynistic, homophobic ass. And Jensen’s heart breaks as he realizes he even sees disgust in Misha’s beautiful blue eyes at himself for not doing enough to stop it.

 

Wednesday – Sadness

The day after is the hardest. Jensen needs to be on set early so he Facetimes both Danneel and Misha first thing, one right after another. No, neither of them has really slept. Yes, they’ve already spoken to each other. Neither of these facts surprises Jensen. His wife’s beautiful inner strength and ability to see things with positivity buoys him a little and he’s eternally grateful she’s his and that’s she’s empathic enough to know that Misha would have needed that strength this morning.

Misha is a wreck. Jensen isn’t sure what he expected, but broken wasn’t it. He can hear the crack in Misha’s voice as he tries to relay some cute story of Maison’s escapades with maple syrup that morning, but as much as Misha adores his little girl, Jensen can tell it’s just a distraction – a distraction from waking up to a new reality. It’s a reality Misha put so much of his heart and soul into to trying to prevent and Jensen can see in the liquid blue eyes that his heart is in pieces. It’s taking every ounce of willpower Jensen has not to just hop onto Highway 1 and head south. Misha is so close, yet so far in this moment and Jensen needs to help him, in a more physical way. What he’s doing now isn’t enough. It will never be enough.

Mid-morning, Misha posts a fifteen second video on Facebook and Jensen’s heart breaks. He can tell by the comments that fandom is hurting with him. They care so much for Misha – well most of them – and he has never been so glad for Misha’s ability to look past the hate. He will only see the good in people like always and he’ll be lifted by the heartfelt love that his fans are sending. He’s never considered them fans really, just friends, and that’s fitting right now because he needs all the friends he can get.

Jensen heads back to his trailer to make a quick phone call. He needs to hear Misha’s voice. He needs to tell him that he loves him – that he believes in him, and that no matter what, they’re in this together.

 

Thursday – Anger

Misha’s back on set on Thursday and Jensen is beyond relieved. They’re never good at being apart, but the last few days have been agonizing. When he left Misha on Sunday in New Jersey, he’d been foolishly complacent, almost to the point of wondering why Misha and Darius were even bothering with their trip to Ohio. Hillary had this, right? The online polls all showed it was practically in the bag. How had he been so stupid?

The day begins with desperate kisses in Misha’s trailer. With the pent up emotion of the past four days, it’s not surprising that it turns physical. What starts as clinging quickly ends up as fucking, and awareness barely kicks in before they’re both panting and coming and Misha is slipping out of Jensen and flopping down beside him on his unmade bed.

Jensen can still see the sadness from the day before, but there’s something else there today as well. It’s not until later, when they’ve made it through the first half of their shooting day, had their lunch break, checked the reaction tweets from that night’s episode (and somehow Dean has fittingly killed Hitler), that Misha tweets as himself for only the second time since Monday. He’s fucking angry. Misha berates Trump for his whining about protesters and Jensen smiles. Not because he wants to see his angel pissed off, in fact, he usually tries to avoid it, but because he knows that anger is what will make Misha act. That anger is what Misha needs right now. That feeling will bring his Misha back, and that’s where goodness starts.

 

Friday – Determination

When Jensen shows up at work on Friday morning, the first person he runs into is Misha and the first thing he notices is his eyes. To be fair, Misha’s eyes are the first thing Jensen always sees when he looks at Misha. They are his tell. When some poet said once that the eyes are the windows to the soul, they were talking about Misha fucking Collins. Not only do those beautiful blue eyes change colour, but they literally tell stories and field emotions. People tell Jensen that his eyes do the same thing, but there’s no way that his eyes do what Misha’s do. He knows the colour’s kind of unique, but that’s about it.

Today, Jensen sees hope in those stunning baby blues. He sees determination. And later, when Misha posts a list of items for people to bring to BurCon in backpacks for Misha and his meet and greet to pass out to the homeless, Jensen knows yesterday’s anger has done its job. Misha will fight back the only way he knows how, with kindness and love.

Jensen tracks Misha down on his way to the food truck. There’s a chill in the air, not uncommon this late on a damp Vancouver fall day. He grabs himself a coffee and Misha a green tea and they wander over to sit on the steps of Jensen’s trailer. Misha leans his head on Jensen’s shoulder, in that intimate way that Jensen had been so jealous of on Monday and sighs. Jensen leans in and places a gentle kiss on Misha’s temple and whispers in his ear.

“ _Be the change that you wish to see in the world_. Someone I love very much always reminds me of that Gandhi quote."

Misha grins and taps their paper cups together. “He must be a pretty smart guy.”

Jensen just nods and thinks to himself. He sure is.


End file.
